WELLNESS: FROM COMPARISON TO CONFIDENCE: PROTECTING YOUR ATHLETE FROM THE SOCIAL MEDIA TRAP

When scrolling starts shaping self-worth, confidence crumbles and performance follows. Here’s how to stop the slide.

Each month, peak performance sports psychologist (and fellow North Shore parent) Dr. E tackles your toughest questions head-on.

Dear Dr. E.—
My teen athlete seems constantly weighed down by what they see online. Even when they’re doing well, one scroll through Instagram and they spiral—comparing their body, stats, and offers to everyone else’s. I don’t want to overreact, but it feels like it’s crushing their confidence. What can I do?
—Social Media Side Effects

Dear Side Effects—
You’re not overreacting—you’re noticing what most overlook. Your athlete isn’t consciously chasing validation. They’re just scrolling. But even without trying, they end up measuring themselves—against highlight reels, stats, and curated perfection. The comparison. The self-doubt. The quiet erosion of confidence.

They open their phone for entertainment—and walk away questioning their worth.

This isn’t about screen time. It’s about identity—and how easily it gets shaped by snapshots of someone else’s success.

Your athlete might know it’s curated. They might even joke about filters and edits. But the nervous system doesn’t run on logic—it runs on perception. And if what they’re seeing, over and over, is that everyone else is achieving more or moving faster … doubt starts to stick.

Even the most grounded athletes begin to wonder: Am I behind? Am I enough?

That kind of internal pressure doesn’t just affect confidence. It hijacks focus. It dulls motivation. And yes, it shows up in their performance—even if no one else can see it.

So what can you do?

1. Build a better scoreboard. Most athletes measure success externally—stats, rankings, likes. But confidence thrives when they start tracking internal wins. Ask:
   • “What did you push through this week that no one saw?”
   • “Where did you show up mentally, not just physically?”
   • “What’s improving that isn’t obvious—but matters?”
   That shift—from “How do I compare?” to “How am I growing?”—is everything.
2. Create a reset window. Scrolling before tryouts, games, or evaluations may seem harmless—but it fills the brain with noise. Instead, encourage a 30–60-minute window to reset and refocus. That space is ideal for mindset skills training—strategies that help athletes regulate emotions, sharpen focus, and step into competition with clarity. This reset isn’t just helpful—it’s a performance edge.
3. Redefine the comparison. If your athlete admires someone online, great. Just help them study—not spiral. Ask:
   • “What do you respect about that athlete’s process?”
   • “What’s one thing you could try from their routine—your own way?”

It’s not about blocking comparison. It’s about using it as fuel, not friction.

Here’s the truth: Confidence isn’t built by avoiding social media. It’s built by creating something stronger underneath it.

And that doesn’t happen by chance. It happens with the right guidance, the right questions, and a system that helps your athlete anchor their identity in something deeper than a highlight reel.

They don’t necessarily need to scroll less.

They need to think differently when they do.

And when that shifts? They don’t just compete better. They carry themselves differently.

—Dr. E

Ready to equip your athlete with the mindset skills that set champions apart? Dr. E helps high-performing athletes build unshakable confidence where it matters most. Learn more at EleVive.com.