REDEFINING WHAT IT MEANS TO WIN
By Elizabeth Lombardo
PHOTOGRAPHY BY KATRINA WITTKAMP
STYLING BY THERESA DEMARIA
Dr. Elizabeth Lombardo
By Elizabeth Lombardo
PHOTOGRAPHY BY KATRINA WITTKAMP
STYLING BY THERESA DEMARIA
Dr. Elizabeth Lombardo
Each month, Dr. E addresses your sports psychology challenges head-on. Need advice? Scan the QR code to submit a question!
Dear Dr. E: A few of my team’s players have a bad attitude, and it’s affecting morale. How can I convince them that even though we don’t always win, we can still have fun?
—Losing It
Dear Losing It: One of my favorite things to see during a hockey game is the teammates coming over to pat the goalie’s helmet, not only after a save is made but also when a shot is let in. It shows that, good or bad, the teammates still support each other— that they are an undeniable unit. It sounds to me like your team may need a reminder about this kind of support and you might be in the perfect position to take the lead.
By working with your coach, parents, and teammates, you can help redefine what it means to be a winning team. A supportive environment boosts morale and brings out the best in everybody, which always feels good.
—Dr. E.
Dear Dr E: My son used to love playing basketball, but he’s moving into a new age bracket this year. A few bad tryouts and comparisons to other players has made him want to hang up his sneakers for good. How do we know if we should trust his opinion and let him quit or push him to keep playing?
—Dad at a Crossroads
Dear Dad: It is hard to see your child wrestle with continuing to play a sport or not. We, as parents, sometimes get more attached to the game than our kids, and like any loss, it can feel sad. The key to your son’s situation, however, is to help him navigate why he wants to give up basketball. Is it in favor of something else? Is it a time issue? Is it the teammates or the coach? Or is it because he isn’t feeling confident enough in himself?
The first few options are easily solvable but sometimes less obvious to our kids. When accustomed to playing with a particular league, coach, or group of kids, realizing that other options are available can be difficult; some options may include joining a rec league where the pressure might be less, finding a practice schedule that works better for your family, or simply carving out time to work on skills or relationships outside of the team dynamic.
If, however, you feel that something bigger is affecting your son’s motivation, it might be time to seek the help of a professional sports psychologist. There could be underlying anxiety, stress, or resiliency issues that are contributing to his unwillingness to play. Dedication, love of the game, and the right mindset can often make a world of difference.
—Dr. E.
Specializing in peak performance and sports psychology, EleVive helps student-athletes master their mental game. Learn more at EleVive.com.
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