TIMEOUT

As any harried parent will tell you, children don’t come with an operating manual. While some parents may wish to raise their children the way they were raised, others opt for a different approach altogether. And of course, neither path may appeal to the child. Instituting discipline while encouraging personal freedom isn’t easy. This is especially true for young children who learn and experience many new things at once. Sometimes a little assist is in order; that’s where The Playroom Pro comes in.

Founded by Marissa Kates, LCSW, a licensed clinical social worker and child development specialist, The Playroom Pro provides parent counseling and parent coaching to support the various needs of families with young children. “My approach is centered on fostering a positive connection between parents and children,” says Kates. “I emphasize the importance of noticing and reinforcing the positive behaviors a child displays, creating a foundation of trust and mutual respect. Instead of immediately focusing on consequences, especially for first-time behaviors, I work with parents to uncover the underlying reasons or motivations behind a child’s actions. Consistency and routine are also pillars in my approach, as they provide a sense of security and predictability that supports both the child’s and the parent’s well-being.”

One might almost claim Kates was destined for this career. Raised in Buffalo Grove with a brother almost three years younger (“I was passionate in my role of older sister”), in her teen years she worked as a babysitter, camp counselor, and after-school nanny. Her grandmother, mom, and aunt all worked as therapists, and Kates earned a Bachelor of Science in Psychology from the University of Wisconsin–Madison, and her Master in Social Work from the Jane Addams College of Social Work at the University of Illinois Chicago.

Kates began her career working for the Early Intervention Program of the Illinois Department of Human Services at PlayWorks Therapy Inc. in Chicago. “We provided in-home therapy for children all over the city from a diverse array of neighborhoods. It was incredible to connect with parents and see how the dynamics of the home environment impacted the development, routines, and behavior of the children.” As her own family began to grow—she and her husband, Rich, are the parents of three girls under ten— Kates cut back on her workload and began to refocus, launching The Playroom Pro in 2020.

“Some of my favorite clients,” shares Kates, “are the ones who come in with a list of concerns about their children’s behavior, yet this behavior solely happens with the parents. The children’s teachers do not have any concerns, and the children are thriving in other environments. We know that there is something about the dynamic at home that can be influencing this behavior. Together, we take a look at the entirety of a child’s functioning— sleep, eating, sibling dynamics, peer relationships, and daily routine. Typically, there are several areas that might be supporting the behavior that we are looking to change, and by modifying the environment, we decrease the behavior. The magic is that this happens in a positive and nonconfrontational way.”

One of the biggest challenges Kates faces as a parent is managing sibling dynamics. “My husband and I each have a sibling of the opposite gender so while we think that three children of the same gender is magical, it is so foreign to us,” she shares. “There can be competition, and a lot of ‘that’s not fair’, and we want to increase our daughters’ empathy toward each other.”

Like Henry David Thoreau, who urged people to “Simplify, simplify,” Kates is big on cutting back. “Too many fights at breakfast? Simplify by making a breakfast schedule—and have the kids participate in making it. Same thing with choosing outfits in the morning. Remove most of the clothing in the closet to make choosing easier.” And it doesn’t hurt for adults to edit their lives, either. “The idea of more, more, more is pervasive in our culture,” observes Kates. “We are more available and reachable. We have more information, more opinions being fed to us daily, making it harder and harder to know who or what to trust. Set boundaries for the time you’re available to others so that you can focus on your priorities.” Sounds like a plan for life in and out of the playroom.

For more information, visit theplayroompro.com.