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Features | Jun. 2025

MEREL MINUTE: WHAT TO DO BEFORE YOU SAY “I DO”

By Contributor

WORDS BY JONATHAN MEREL, FOUNDER AND MANAGING PRINCIPAL OF MEREL FAMILY LAW

Jonathan Merel

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Marriage is a major commitment. These five steps can help you build a stronger foundation—and avoid heartache down the road.

Most people don’t want to think about divorce before marriage—but the truth is, the best way to avoid divorce is to never end up in the wrong marriage to begin with. While happily ever after is never guaranteed, a good marriage starts with making intentional choices long before the wedding bells.

Here’s what every couple should consider before saying “I do.”

1. Stop Thinking You HAVE to Get Married

Society pushes a narrative: Date, get engaged, marry, have kids. But following that path just because it’s “normal” can lead to major regret.

Marriage isn’t a requirement for happiness or a cure-all for life’s

problems. And getting married just because you’ve hit a certain age—or because your friends are doing it—is often a fast track to misery.

If you’re going to marry, make sure it’s because you want to, not because you feel obligated to.

2. Choose the Right Partner—for the Right Reasons

Many divorces stem from marrying someone who wasn’t a great match in the first place. Maybe you’ve been together for years and feel like marriage is just the next step. Maybe you’re ignoring red flags and hoping things will magically get better.

Before committing, ask yourself:

  • Do we share the same long-term goals?
  • Can we handle conflict in a healthy way?
  • Do I enjoy everyday life with this person?

If you’re answering “no,” it’s worth taking a step back. Chemistry is important—but compatibility is what sustains a marriage.

3. Don’t Let Passion Cloud Your Judgement

Yes, physical attraction matters—but it’s not enough. Marrying someone you barely know because the spark is strong can backfire fast. 

The honeymoon phase doesn’t last forever. Build your relationship on friendship, communication, and shared values—not just passion.

4. ALWAYS Get a Prenup

A prenup isn’t about mistrust—it’s about maturity.

Prenuptial agreements help couples have honest financial conversations before marriage. They can protect businesses, inheritances, and assets—and save both parties from years of court battles if things go south.

If you’re serious about love, be serious about protecting each other from unnecessary legal chaos.

5. Take Your Time

Not sure if they’re “the one?” Feel like you’re rushing into things? Take a breath.

Marriage is one of the biggest decisions of your life. There’s no harm in waiting if it means gaining clarity. A bad marriage can cost you years, peace of mind, and financial stability.

The Bottom Line

Marriage can be beautiful—but it’s not something you owe anyone. Don’t let pressure from family, friends, or society push you into a lifelong commitment you’re not ready for.

The best way to prevent divorce? Be honest—with yourself and your partner—before you ever walk down the aisle.

Merel Family Law is located at 440 W Randolph Avenue, 5th Floor, in Chicago; 595 Elm Place, Suite 225, in Highland Park; and 40 E Hinsdale Road, Suite 202, in Hinsdale. For more information, call 312-408-7000, visit merelfamilylaw.com, and follow @merelfamilylaw on social media.

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