HOW NOT TO SUCK AT DIVORCE

Morgan Stogsdill and Andrea Rappaport’s top-rated podcast pairs humor and legal expertise to help people navigate the murky waters of divorce.

Morgan Stogsdill and Andrea Rappaport are an unlikely comedy duo.

Stogsdill, Head of Family Law at Beermann LLP, is nationally acclaimed for her expertise in complex family law matters. In addition to being featured in The New York Times, she’s been selected for a myriad other prestigious awards, including being named as one of “The Top 10 Women Attorneys in Illinois” by Emerging Lawyers. Rappaport, on the other hand, is a stand-up comedian and TV personality who also happens to be a divorced mom.

“Morgan is a very polished, buttoned up individual,” explains Rappaport, who joined forces with Stogsdill several years ago to produce the How Not to Suck at Divorce podcast, which has since soared to the top three in its category. “She’s like the country club version of me and I’m the loud-mouthed Jewish version of her.”

Stogsdill discovered Rappaport’s Joan Rivers-style comedy and tell-it-like-it-is delivery several years ago through social media.

“When I went through my divorce, I was talking about not necessarily the details, but the unpopular opinions that people are thinking but not saying out loud,” Rappaport continues. “It caught Morgan’s attention and she said nobody’s doing this—nobody’s having these conversations.”

Part of the reason no-one was talking about some of these things is because it’s hard, particularly for those who are already at their emotional and mental worst. And as Rappaport has learned from doing comedy, sometimes laughter really can be the best medicine.

“As we started talking, we realized that we could use comedy to help people through this awful process of divorce. The question was, how do we help the average person who’s completely overwhelmed and scared, knowing that when you operate from a place of fear, you’re primed to make major mistakes,” says Rappaport, explaining that there is scientific evidence behind their vision.

“Research shows that you can’t laugh and hold your breath at the same time,” she continues. “When you exhale, you are sending a signal to your brain that you’re safe. So, we strategically use humor in our show as a disarming mechanism to help them relax and open their minds to the important information we’re about to give them.”

The messages in the podcast “cut out the fat” and boil down messaging to the good, the bad, the really bad, and the “are you kidding me?” things listeners need to know if they’re getting divorced or considering it.

“The divorce industry is inundated with data that says ‘do this’ and ‘don’t do that’ and it’s overwhelming to people,” says Rappaport. “We changed that.”

In addition to providing legal advice based on Stogsdill’s impressive background in family law and Rappaport’s personal experience as a divorced mom, the podcast tells it like it is—often sharing difficult truths about the reality of divorce.

As Rappaport quips, if you took four shots of tequila while listening to their show, “we get it, but sober up and listen to these three things that no one wants to say out loud.”

1. Staying in a marriage for the kids is the absolute worst thing you can do.
2. Ignoring patterns of unhealthy behavior does not make the unhealthy behavior go away.
3. You’re a bigger part of the problem than you think you are.

The goal in sharing these messages is to help people be more proactive and approach their divorce process with a healthier perspective.

“Being reactive only makes your divorce more expensive and that’s not your attorney’s fault; it’s your fault,” explains Rappaport, adding that the podcast is also helpful for people who are holding on to unhealthy marriages. “Being aware of patterns and being aware of things you can change versus what you can’t change will protect your mental health. You’ve got to get into good mental shape before you’re able to endure this process.”

The good news is, you’ll get by with a little help from your new best friends Stogsdill and Rappaport—here to guide your divorce journey with love and levity.

Their How Not to Suck at Divorce podcast is the next best thing to having a divorce attorney, therapist, and really funny best friend with you at times—or as Rappaport puts it, “like tequila shots after a long Tuesday.”

For episodes and more information about the How Not to Suck at Divorce podcast, visit hownottosuckatdivorce.com/podcast.